[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 8 most recent journal entries recorded in
|Monday, May 23rd, 2005|
i've been fasting since last tuesday and i was struggling on friday... i'm a purist when it comes to fasting, but i could NOT help myself.
so what i did was- i didn't swallow. tasted some stuff right next to the garbage can. chew, chew, chew, spit. if anyones thinking of trying this, i recommend having a glass of water nearby to rinse out calorie-tainted saliva and a toothbrush to scrub up your teeth.
it's quite good that i did this, 'cause after two minutes i understood how yucky and unspecial the food was and how much more special it is wear smaller trousers.
worked so well that yesterday was moz's birthday & i didn't even desire soy ice cream. really, a good trick for the desperate.
|Thursday, April 21st, 2005|
my friend (who's five'ten"and 120lbs, btw) is starting to catch on, i think. because she left me a comment in my other live journal wherein i was venting about how stressed i am, and she said something along the lines of 'i know you probably don't want to hear this... at least eat a cracker...'
whatever. i know she believes to have my best intentions at heart, but i just don't care anymore. what anyone thinks of my weight/ preoccupation with food. i can't care less if everyone knows, i don't feel like pretending everything is sunshine. they'll just jealous that they don't have my willpower. Current Mood: not hungery
|Wednesday, April 20th, 2005|
yesterday, my mom was all offering me about forty-two differant kinds of food. it was like, um, how many times do you want to hear 'no, thank you'? it was ridiculous, but i got through. i'll have to start giving foods away again, just like last week, 'cause she's buying me all these carrots and things special. obviously, when they're there a week later....? so i'll be feeding up everyone else, or just dumping it. whatever. that's fine with me.
|Wednesday, January 12th, 2005|
i messed up my fast today! i consumed three entire mouthfuls of water!!!!! what the hell was i thinking? i WASN'T thinking, that's what! Current Mood: dissappionted
|Wednesday, January 5th, 2005|
|Wednesday, December 29th, 2004|
|fast! away the old year passes!
my gag reflex failed, so i'm on the fourth day of a fast. i do feel depressed, though, but luckily, i know that food will not brighten my spirits. kind words are welcome, though.
ow! hungar pain. yea!
|Thursday, December 16th, 2004|
i have been purging for the last week, and it feels GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mia is my new best friend! i bought some new undies a size smaller than usual, to keep myself motivated, and to my delight, they are baggy! yeah! Current Mood: grand
|Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004|
|it starts today
i was doing an excellent job of purging yesterday, it got to the point were i could will my mistake out of my stomach, instead of using my fingers.
i've started a new fast today, and i figured that i might as well get a journal, to track my progress and get me through those painful moments.
i know my enemy and it is food!!!! i hope i don't eat today. i've been really out of control lately. hopefully my fast will get me back on track.
any time i feel the need to eat, i've got to light up a fag or drink some water (although i don't like to have things entering my body, esp. during fasts) or listen to some Death Cab, or, my not-so-guilty pleasure, britney spears. Current Mood: hopeful